So I’m sick again. Again. For every month of 2019 I have had at least one bug or illness of some sort. Be it cough, cold, inner ear infection, mouth infection, etc, etc. I seem to have bounced from one thing to another and back again with, at best, only a few weeks respite in between. And it's getting rather wearing. As I often read on the Crohn's Facebook groups I belong to, "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired". It's no fun and makes the challenging job of parenting an energetic toddler that little bit more challenging.
It could be that my Crohn's medication, which suppresses my immune system and leaves me open to picking things up (and means I take longer to fight them off), is the cause of this, or it could be as a result of life with a toddler. I suspect it's a combination of both, together creating the perfect storm of germs and exhaustion that keeps on knocking me down time and time again. My medication is keeping my Crohn’s in check but it’s left me constantly sick, trudging through life from one thing to the next on survival mode. But at the moment it's the lesser of two evils. The coughs, colds, infections, etc are wearing but they are not doing any long term damage - I think! Whereas if my Crohn's wasn't in check, the inflammation running riot in my gut would not only be miserable right now, it would also leave permanent damage in the tissues it was affecting so for now I need to keep on coughing... and keep on getting back up again.
However, I’m not here to moan, I'm just providing some context. The past couple of years have been difficult and challenging. 2019 has been a year not just of physical bugs, but one of reflection and looking inward, one of fixing my mental health and wellbeing. And I now feel more positive, I feel the tide is turning and I'm looking forward to 2020. For me, according to my Facebook Memories(!), life seems to have gone in cycles of a few good years then a few tough ones, back to a few good ones and so on. I'm aiming to turn the past two tough ones into the start of a good cycle. I ended a miserable 2011 with a stinking cold, saw it out with a vodka-laced Lemsip, had an amazing sleep and woke feeling a little less ill in 2012, a year that saw things change for the better. I'm hoping for a repeat of that this new year - less the vodka-laced Lemsip as we don't have any vodka, although I could probably chase a Lemsip down with a Tia Maria or two...
Whatever my drinking habits this evening, I won't see an immediate change. I'm not going to wake up tomorrow on January 1st and life will be rosy but I'm not going to sit around and wait for it to happen. There have been too many sad stories in 2019 for me to continue to let life pass me by so I’m going to take positive steps to change gear, switch out of survival mode and get life back on track. While I have scans and tests aplenty lined up for January 2020, I'm also going to be proactive and make sure I get better at fitting in regular time for exercise and mindfulness. I'm going to prioritise finding regular time for my physical health and mental wellbeing that I can do something about rather than simply waiting on appointments, test results, doctors and medication. Being fit and active was a part of who I was before I had my daughter and, while my ability to do what exercise I want when I want is a little more restricted now, I have a flexible employer and a supportive husband so no room for excuses! I can fit it in around the other priorities in my life and I will feel better for it.
So I am back in the gym working on my matchstick limbs (trying hard to find some muscle!) and plan to get some sessions in on the track during my lunch break at work, with the aim of re-joining my training group one evening a week and perhaps even getting back to competition! I am also going to make better use of the fitness app membership I have. There's a huge variety of workouts in there and I can do them all from home, even with a little one around - ish! 😂 They are about to launch a new programme that has struck a cord with me. It's a mix of barre work, strength, mobility, posture and cardio as well as combining mental well-being so it's a perfect combination for me right now. It will complement what I'm doing in the gym and on the track as well as fitting into life as a busy working mum. Part of the programme involves affirmation cards for each day and I took one from the pack the other day that rang true for me and is how I plan to approach 2020 - #IAM Positive. I am feeling positive about the year ahead and I am going to approach the challenges it brings with positivity with the end goal of feeling more energised, fit and healthy with some more "me time" in my life than I've had over the past 2 years.
And now I've told you my plans I need to stick to them! Accountability and all that...
So, who's with me for some positivity in 2020!? Whatever your goal, go for it and if you need some support or simply someone to hold you accountable, drop me a line and we can keep each other going. And if you fancy joining me at the barre from your living room (because let's face it, we're not both going to fit in mine!), let me know and we can do it together.
All the best for 2020 everyone! :)
